misunderstanding | (no subject)

It's a- partnership, Dee. I'm supposed to take care of you, too.

[ but he's too bone-tired to resist, and he sags into dee's arm, into the embrace. carefully, he kisses him back, a drunken clumsiness very much apparent. he wonders what his parents would think, if they would be disappointed - but why would they be? they had loved him unconditionally.

it had all been ripped away from him so quickly, the sort of love he'd never thought he'd find again. he shifts slightly, pressing a little harder into the kiss, suddenly resolved. ]

I'll keep you safe. I promise.

You do take care of me.

[He might have said more, but then there's kissing happening and by this point he is done resisting. What happens tomorrow will happen and for now he has the man he loves in his arms and has him saying all the right things. His resolve is stronger than he gives himself credit for, but it definitely isn't strong enough for this.]

I know. I'm safe with you.

[ he's tired, beyond tired, and he's more than aware of the fact that he's going to be too embarrassed to even look at dee in the face in the morning. this, right now, though? he kind of feels like it's worth it.

right at this moment, at least, it feels like it's worth it. ]

- say you love me again. One last time.

There won't ever be a last time for that, Ryo. Not as long as I can breathe.

[Perhaps a dramatic statement, but it's a true one and he means it. He always means what he says. He always feels it. And so he doesn't hesitate with saying it now either.]

I love you.

I meant- tonight. The last time tonight. I meant- I wouldn't ask you again.

[ ryo is flushed, but very much pleased at the response. part of him wants to say it, too, but the rest of him is very much aware- if he does say it, it doesn't need to be when he's drunk. ]

Trying to say "thanks," I guess. I like, um- dammit. I like hearing it.

No need to ask. Ain't gonna stop saying it, tonight or ever.

[Dee finds himself playing with Ryo's hair, quieting down, since it is obvious just how tired his partner is at this point. He dips his head to whisper into Ryo's ear, confessing his love once more. Twice. Three times.]

Sleep well, Ryo.

[ for some reason that he can't quite pinpoint, the way it's whispered into his ear sends a little, content thrill right into the pit of his stomach. he swallows hard, nodding once. sure. he'd nap here, on the couch, wrapped up with dee like this, just for a little while, because there was definitely nothing wrong with that, right?

which is why, when dee wakes the next morning, he'll definitely be alone. coffee will be burbling in the kitchen and waiting on him (and honestly, ryo really wanted a cup of it himself before he tried to muster the effort to make the trip back to his place to shower the smell of the bar off of him), but he doesn't leave a message. he had wanted to, but - honestly?

he hadn't been able to think of something to say.

ryo will be at his desk in his station the next morning, coffee and water both on the desktop, looking just a little worse for wear. ]

[The real sadness doesn't hit when he notices that Ryo isn't there. It only really hits when he realises that he hasn't expected him to be. That's not a nice thought to contemplate before work and when he actually gets there and sees Ryo at the desk, he turns back around to head to the bathroom. He doesn't actually have any reason to be there, so he just checks on his hair and admires himself a little, which is a welcome boost in self-esteem today.

Finally he manages to actually make his way to his own desk, tossing his jacket onto the chair and still undecided on how to actually handle this.]

Morning.

Morning, Dee.

[ welp, ryo hadn't been wrong: he's trying his best to seem chipper, or at least normal, and he's failing utterly. looking at his partner is proving to be a task much harder than he'd anticipated, and he ends up thumbing through some paperwork instead, waiting to make sure that the others are out of earshot before continuing. ]

Sorry about making you babysit me last night. I think I overindulged slightly.

Were really drunk, yeah.

[This dance is already getting old, he knows the steps to well. So he ends up with his elbows on the desk, chin in hands, staring right at Ryo just to see how long he'll avoid even looking in his direction. Missing out, after spending all that extra time in the bathroom, his hair game is definitely on point today.]

Slept well?

[ ryo does finally glance up his way, and then flusters slightly - because dee's hair game really is on point, and the way he's staring right at him makes his stomach flip in a way that he can't decide comes from the hangover or not.

briefly, he seems incredibly uncertain, and then, quietly: ]

Yeah, I did. Thanks.

No need to thank me. With that alcohol intake, you'd have probably slept well on a park bench too.

[Oh, why does Ryo have to be so difficult to read, especially in that respect? Because all signs point to yes, all signs point to love and here he is. Alone and unloved.]

So what are you doing for your actual birthday?

I'm not sure yet. Nothing involving alcohol, for sure.

[ ryo glances down again, trying to ignore the ache in his head. he's incredibly uncomfortable right now, but trying not to show it. trying to power through, if anything. ]

Maybe we could do that movie?

For your birthday?

[He frowns, trying to think what movies are coming out.]

What movie are we talking about?

[How is Ryo more on the ball about this than him, while hungover no less? Shame on him.]

I thought we talked last night about-

[ seeing a movie. he hadn't imagined that, had he? ryo rakes his fingers through his hair, uncertain, before changing the subject. ]

I might see if the chief will let me finish this paperwork at home. My stomach is a little upset.

Wait! Ryo...

[He's staring, because what else can he do? Then he's on his feel, chair scattering, but his hands stay on the desk as he leans forward.]

You mentioned something about last night. A movie. Yeah, I remember. You wanna go?

[ ryo feels his face heat up again, glancing up sharply. ]

What are you doing? Sit down! We're at work.

So? There's a lot of things I've gotten into trouble over in my life, especially at work, but standing was never one of them. Stop changing the subject!

[This is important and he will stand.]

When are we going to the movies? I'm free for you.

Dee...

[ he's embarrassed and a little exasperated, glancing around as if afraid someone is going to come ask them what's up. in reality, he knows that dee just standing is pretty damn innocuous. ]

Didn't I just say for my birthday?

Yeah, so? You got drunk for your birthday yesterday, seems about right that you'd go to the movies for it today. I'll buy the snowcaps and popcorn, you just have to not stand me up.

[Who could resist snowcaps? But then, Dee also didn't understand how anyone could resist him, so his opinion could probably not be trusted.]

[ ryo opens his mouth and definitely looks like he's about to protest, before he winces and rubs at his temple. ow, his head is not being kind to him at all.

finally, he exhales, focusing very intently on some paperwork. ]

... I'll see if Bikky can stay have dinner at his friend's.

[Ha.

Dee slams his hands down in triumph and finally sits back in his chair, looking as gleeful as anyone could look, even if Ryo is currently probably trying to undo time and not agree to this. Still, this is a date.

Close enough at least.

Should he ask whether Bikky could sleep over at his friend's too? No. No, Dee decides. Too far.]

Your birthday really is the best day of the year.

[Even two weeks before it happens.]

It's just -

[ ryo recovers from the wince he'd fallen into when dee slammed his hands down, before he glances furtively back over his shoulder and then hisses a whisper at his partner. ]

It's not that big of a deal, Dee. We already spend an alarming amount of our time together, it's not like - this is going to be something extra special.

[ that's what he's trying to convince himself, at least. it wasn't like he and dee had never seen a movie together, after all.

god, he thinks, and sinks down a little in his seat. that was completely unromantic, wasn't it? it strikes him again that he has no idea what he's doing. ]

Sure.

[Dee's eyes narrow, it's a subtle change. He sits up a bit straighter, the intensity changes into something sharper. Designed to pierce through defences.

This is interrogation Dee.]

Why don't you want it to be extra special?

[ it's a subtle change, but one that ryo recognizes at this point, and he straightens a little - subconsciously on the defensive.

he's flustered. ]

Movies aren't extra-special things. That's all!

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SORRY ABOUT tagging back so fast you caught me the moment i sat down

NEVER BE SORRY and I need to sleep now

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